1) Be complacent in your ignorance, make ignorant comments, jokes, not take them seriously, tell them it's a phase it will go away. Don't look into it from actual Goths in the scene, listen to the music, read up about it or anything, and eventually get used to it and come to accept them or part ways.
2) Read Goth books, magazines, go to youtube and watch goth youtubers, follow popular Goth's on Instagram, get a shallow surface area of it based on the fashion and the music. And if it really interest you keep digging, continue to educate yourself, and go down the rabbit hole of all things considered, Goth and Alternative and form your own opinions about it.
If you are a person who's new to Goth, you will gravitate towards all of the information, magazines, books, music videos, music, biographies and interviews by musicians to see their inspirations and influences on the scene. The history, fashion, literature, art, architecture, the lives of the authors, musicians, etc themselves, and more. And just all around anything dark, spooky, and supernatural. I have personally stayed away from the heavy conversations of all things regarding what is Goth? Because I don't want to come across as an authority or an elitist know it all. I have always been a firm believer that you know real Goth's when you take time to get to know them after you've spent time with enough fake people, you'll recognize who's real and who's just in it for the wrong reasons, or is completely ignorant about the subject entirely.
If Goth is something you are truly drawn to then whatever it is you like, whatever outlet you have will drive you into your own spiral into learning everything you possibly can about it and seeing if it's right for you so you can develop your own style, your own taste in music, your own hobbies you enjoy rather that contributes to the scene or not. If you are fortunate enough to have any kind of local scene or travel to one near you then all of those things will just come naturally to you.
There is one thing I will say about the mysteries of all things Goth, there are do's and don't's about it. It's really just about respect for the scene and the people in it who have a genuine interest. If you find yourself drawn to the scene in this current day and age of social media where people can be internet famous; i.e Instagram models, and popular Youtubers who receive free items for having a high following from fast fashion companies who appropriate Goth elements into their fashions to sell you a Goth look. And Instagram and Youtube show the Goth lifestyle as being for the rich, skinny, and the mostly white. You may have misconceptions about what it really means to be Goth. And why "Elder Goths" are annoyed by this new trend.
Goth is not something you can buy in the store, there are goth brands but it's not something you put on and take off at the end of the day. It's not something you can stop being apart of because you don't look the part.
It's not a few popular post punk bands in the 80's, but it's good to get you started in to right direction to learn more underground bands and deeper music.
It's not a costume
Not a cosplay
A character, there are Goth characters but Goth in and of itself is not a character
Occult symbols you don't know the meaning of but look edgy and cool, Occult symbols are great when you know the meaning of them and want to embrace the positive aspects of them. But when you don't it's disrespectful to others religions.
It's not an act of rebellion against your parents or society, unless it's in a way that you are embracing your true self as a act of rebellion to pretending to be something you are not to make others happy as if your own happiness doesn't matter
A performance, but there are Goth performers
It's not just to scare people, but if that's your thing enjoy
It's not a passing trend, But it comes and goes every couple of years and it has it's pro's and con's
It's not a phase for most people who got into it for the right reasons, but some do grow out of it and it doesn't mean they are any less legit than that Goth's who are still apart of the scene
It's not a hair style, but there are certain hairstyles that Goth and Alternative people naturally gravitate too
It's not body modifications, but many Goth's can choose to get modifications if they wish, but not required
It's not just makeup and fashion, but there are various styles that fit into Goth
It's not exclusive to white people, skinny people, or the able bodied
People of color, various religions, cultures, sizes and shapes can be apart of it and disabled people are welcome too.
It's not a religion, but there are many Goth's who are religious, pagan, atheist, agnostic, etc.
It's not a cult, but there are some Goth's in cults
It's not an evil thing but there are evil people the scene
If you are looking for more intellectual stimulation and you want to get a deeper understanding of the big question of what is Goth? I highly recommend reading books of Goth from Goth's in the 80's, photographers, sociologist, psychologist, Goth enthusiast, etc. so you can get a well rounded view of the scene. And you wanna form your own sense of fashion, makeup, decorate your living space then the internet is great for ideas. But you'll have a deeper connection from actual books and have a more unique perspective on it and have something that's more catered to your needs as your own person.
(Yes I know Mansion isn't Goth, and can be problematic AF! But it's a very interesting book which I enjoyed when I was in high school that tells the story about his life starting in childhood. And gives a bit of insight into his personality and lifestyle)
Goth is about being unique
It's creative expressions through many art forms
It's being observant of things that are over looked
It's all about embracing your true self and living life to the fullest
It's about supporting others in the scene who are positive content creators, musicians, artist, fashion designers, etc.
Disclaimer: Some of these books I've read over the years, and some I haven't so I can't really tell you that much about them. The purpose of this blog post was not meant to be a review of Goth books, but the show the various ones that exist and can give you better insight and visuals into the scene. And it's still a better view than what you would get online. These are all relatively non-fiction books but I do recommend some fiction books with Goth or spooky characters for fun and more in depth looks. Enjoy and leave comments below for feedback.
